This post contains spoilers for FBoy Island Season 3, Episodes 1 and 2.
FBoy Island might’ve moved to the CW, but based on the first two episodes of its third outing, nothing has changed in the Bro Chateau. In fact, previews for the episodes to come reveal that one of the show’s most beloved-yet-infamous characters will soon return. Friends, are we ready for more of Danny Louisa, the “Italian Stallion” from Season 2? What about Mercedes Knox from that same season—the sly FBoy who stole Louisa’s heart?
For the uninitiated, the rules of FBoy Island are simple: Three women show up to date their way through a gaggle of 21 men, and while some of them are self-described “Nice Guys,” who have agreed to split the $100,000 prize money, the others are proud “FBoys” who might just take the money and run.
This season, we’re following 28-year-old Brooklyn-based model Hali Okeowo, influencer and former competitive snowboarder Daniella Grace (33), and Katie Thurston (32)—who has apparently pivoted to comedy following her turn as ABC’s Bachelorette. They’re all hoping to find true love, but if they’re not careful, they’ll be saying “f-bye” to a lot of money in the end.
The first two episodes of Season 3 premiered Monday night on the CW and, for the most part, they feature all the same shenanigans as usual: There’s a lot of talk about “red flags,” a lot of barely-buttoned button-down shirts, and an absurd amount of peacocking. We’ve got a 22-year-old posing as a 25-year-old, a hot yoga instructor from Santa Monica who never seems to talk to the women but instead decides to “stay silently wise,” and a Nice Guy named Dio who can’t stop smiling, even as he goes home on Night One.
To kick things off, our brave host Nikki Glaser asked the boys to introduce themselves so that each of the women could decide, based on first impressions, whether to give them a green flag or a red flag. Those with three green flags got extra time during the evening cocktail mixer—a major advantage, given that the first round of eliminations happen on Night One. Bryce G., Marco D., Elijah D., Jared A., and Vince X. received unanimous approval.
... And yet, by the end of Episode 2, three of those guys were on the chopping block. That’s how it goes sometimes on the island!
But before we get to who the unlucky gents might’ve been (and how they screwed things up so quickly) let us first direct our attention to some frontrunners. First off, there’s Vince, a 31-year-old lawyer who appeared on Prime Video’s dating show The One That Got Away last year. Naturally, he and Bachelor-verse alum Katie had a lot to talk about, and his easygoing, charming demeanor (and excellent taste in bucket hats) seems to have won her over. Hali’s attention seems split between Elijah and Evander C., and although she drops Evander into her bottom two at the first elimination ceremony to test his reaction, he passes with flying colors. (At least, he does end up getting the first kiss with her of the season—a hallowed distinction, to be sure.)
And then there’s Daniella, who readily admits that she tends to fall for FBoys and proceeds to do just that. Still, did she have to go for this FBoy?!
We’ve seen a lot of out-and-proud tools on this show, but Jared might just take the cake. He’s got the same self-assurance and scheme-y vibes as Mercedes, a central villain from last season, and to top it all off, he seems to get off on power games. He deliberately grabs Katie away from Marco while the two are getting a drink, seemingly for no other reason than to rile Marco up, and later on, when Daniella asks him about his rancid reputation, he storms into a room where all the guys are sitting to make a huge scene. (By then, he’d already hurt his chances with Daniella, who stormed away from their conversation muttering “cocky motherfucker” under her breath.)
“I definitely think I’m capable of outsmarting these women,” Jared says in a confessional interview at the end of Episode 2, when he confirms that he is, indeed, an FBoy. “There’s absolutely zero-percent chance that any of these girls can get me to choose them over the money.”
Yuck—but also, is this all an act to make us nervous, like with Mercedes in Season 2? He also seemed pretty sleazy, but in the end, he chose to split the money with lead Louise Barnard. Let’s hope Daniella keeps both eyes open this season, because Jared is a shark, and he at least thinks he smells chum in the water.
With a few loud exceptions like Jared, it’s often hard to tell at the beginning of a season who might be on which side of the “Nice Guy”/“FBoy” fence. In part, that’s because these labels are self-selecting; just like in real life, plenty of dudes who fancy themselves “Nice Guys” turn out to be pretty toxic, while some of the “FBoys” actually seem OK.
The tension between these realities is often starkest during elimination ceremonies. Consider this: On one hand, we have Kris, who was apparently FBoy and didn’t make much of an effort to get to know the women. As he prepared to make his exit, he swore, “I came on here as an FBoy, but that doesn’t change the qualities of me that make me a genuine person.” (Huh?) And then, on the other, we have guys like Bryce—who got eliminated and groused, “I came here as the fucking nicest nice guy in the world.” (Hmmm.)
Katie, Hali, and Daniella have their work cut out for them, and as always on this show, teamwork will be crucial. Katie is already on Jared’s case and determined to protect Daniella (even if Hali seems a little put off by her intervention). So far, they’ve sent six guys home: FBoys Ian M., Shaun P., and Kris T., and Nice Guys Dio P., Bryce G., and Tanner G.
It’s unclear what happened to lead Katie to send Tanner home, but clearly something happened that we haven’t seen. Although we never saw the two interact on screen, Katie told Tanner, “I respect you so much as a person. It’s in your best interest to protect you from this environment of chaos and intensity and let you go.” He cried on his way out, wondering aloud, “Why do women say they want somebody who's emotional, who’s in tune with their emotions?” Unclear what happened there, but we obviously missed something.
Marco skated past elimination this week, but he’s on thin ice after his embarrassing confrontation with Jared.
“You best believe I’m gonna confront Jared for that bitch-ass move,” Marco said after the drinks fiasco, in the show’s eightieth display of puffery. “I’m not backing down.” Is anyone ever gonna tell these guys that women are far more impressed by men who can actually focus their attention on courtship than they are in competitive chest-pounding? No one? Alrighty then!
Katie made it a point to ask Marco on a date during Episode 2 (a nice placating move she likely learned during her time managing male egos on Bachelorette), but it didn’t go as well as Marco hoped. After their kiss, Katie confessed, “If my mouth were a triangle and his was a square, that’s what the kiss was kinda like.” Ouch! But don’t tell that to Marco, because he’s convinced it all went great.
Over the next few weeks, Marco and the rest of the guys are all going to need to watch their backs. If season previews are to be trusted, there are a couple franchise alums headed our way. Toward the end of Episode 2, Marquies receives a lower third describing him as “Mercedes’ Little Brother”—an odd choice that suddenly makes more sense when he recognizes his brother among the new men in the preview. Also along for the ride? Danny—who almost left the island with Mia last season, before she chose fellow reformed FBoy Peter Park instead. “The gabagool is back in school,” as Daniel put it—but will he actually get the girl this time? If these dudes have any say in the matter, he should just fuhgeddaboudit.
This post has been corrected to include Hali’s correct age and the proper spelling of Marquies’ name.
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